


Infiltration

by mournfulbliss



Series: Commander Jane Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-18 02:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mournfulbliss/pseuds/mournfulbliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this Alternate Universe of Mass Effect. Commander Jane Shepard has a thing for Turians. She always did. But there is one Human who wants to change all of that. Will he be able to change her mind? This also follows the plot of the first Mass Effect game. </p><p>Commander Jane Shepard. Earth born, Sole Survivor, Vanguard.</p><p>Note: AU. Some of the dialogue is seen in the game, but I have taken creative license to have different people say them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reminisance of who we are

    On the bridge of the Normandy SR-1 sat the ship’s pilot, affectionally named Joker, with the ships third in command, Kaidan Alenko. Joker was taking him through the last of the controls of the Normandy, as the resident councilor Spectre, Nihlus, walked onto the bridge. He was there to check on the ship’s status. Behind Nihlus was the ship’s second in command, or XO, Jane Shepard.

   “All systems online. Drift…” Joker said. “Just under 1500 k, right?” Kaidan finished for him, and shot his long time friend, Jane, an award-winning smile. As the XO, Jane has already had this training under her belt in case she was left in charge. “1500 is good. Your captain…” Nihlus said standing tall, also looking at Jane with his mandibles slightly clicking. “…will be pleased” he finished, before smiling at Jane.

   Just before he turned to leave, Nihlus let his three talons, brush across Shepard’s five fingers. Jane lifted her chin slightly to catch his eyes, and the spark between them would have electrocuted any human to death. To the humans, this gesture would not have been a big deal. Many Turian’s did not have a human fetish, and no human in history had ever had a Turian fetish. However, for Kaidan, whom had been ‘chasing’ Shepard since their boot camp days, it was a challenge.

   “They don’t send Spectres on shakedown runs,” Joker blurted after Nihlus was out of earshot. Kaidan shook his head out of his thoughts, and focused. “He sounds angry, something must have gone wrong with the mission”. Shepard hardly heard what they said, as she was looking back at where Nihlus just was, lost in her memory of when she first met him.

\---

_She and Kaidan had been in the same military boot camp program. They were a month away from the highly anticipated, “War Games” which essentially placed the new recruits into their intended careers. Jane was hoping to be chosen for the N7. She was in the gym working off some steam when the handsome Turian, only known as, Nihlus was watching her from afar._

_Shepard was so lost in herself and her anger. She thought, ‘How dare they look at Kaidan as the captain for our team. I am twice the solider he is, I can shoot better, run faster, and make better decisions”. She hit the bag harder._

_Left hook._

_Right hook._

_Duck._

_Back kick._

_Jab._

_She kept going harder, faster, and all the time getting angrier with herself. She knew why Kaidan was chosen. He was the top of the class. He had better scores in all of his practical tests, and he moved better in combat with his biotics. She also knew that he was a shoe in for the N7 program._

_Nihlus propped himself against a beam with his arms crossed in the way someone who was intrigued, or about to make a wise crack would. He watched Shepard carefully, calculating her speed, strength and agility. He liked what he saw, but he also saw a fire in her eyes that only people in his line of work had. He approached Shepard, and was stunned when he was thrown into the wall behind him by Shepard’s singularity. He coughed and regained his composure a bit amused. “That was impressive. I will remember to not sneak up behind a pissed off biotic unarmed again” he said. “Oh my god, I am so sorry sir. See I thought you were, well, someone else coming to gloat in, uhh, well its not important. Are you hurt?” Jane babbled as she ran toward Nihlus to help him up. He allowed her to help him; it was a way to size her up._

_As Jane helped Nihlus to his feet she noticed his strong jaw, and his copper color. She knew the N7 program brought in a Spectre every now and then to help in random skills. Hell, she even knew a few Turians that the program had employed to help in combat. However, this handsome Turian before her was not any shade of grey that she had seen before. He was a pristine copper-red. They same color she insisted on dying her hair to prove she was different._

_Whatever Nihlus was saying to her right now was utterly lost as she gazed upon this fine specimen. “Do you even care about being the best?” was all it took for her to come out of her trance. “Uhh, yeah, sorry. What?” She stuttered as her cheeks flushed. On any other Turian, this simple human gesture would have been lost, but to Nihlus, who found beauty in strength, will, and determination, this was the only thing he needed to pursue his infatuation further._

_\---  
_

“Joker. Status report” boomed through the bridge. Anderson’s bellowed voice awoke Jane from her memories. Slightly embarrassed she fixed her posture, and looked to Kaidan to see if he had noticed she was out of it. Fortunately for her, he was too focused on getting his piloting training done. She simply turned on her heel and followed Nihlus to the debriefing room.

Kaidan watched her as she went after Nihlus. “Don’t really like him do you? Well neither do I. Spectre’s always mean trouble” Joker stated. Kaidan just looked at his friend, and shrugged. “Right now, I just want to get this finished so I can go back to my duties”, he said solemnly. “What are your duties exactly? Following the Commander around like a lost puppy dog?” Joker teased. Kaidan’s focus was gone as he was remembering the first time he laid eyes on Shepard.

\---

_Kaidan had just finished cleaning his barracks. Boot camp wasn’t at all like he thought it would be. When he had read up about it, he was under the impression that it was all physical training to get you ready for the military. Then again his resources were grossly outdated. This boot camp was as much an intellectual thing as it was a physical thing._

_Then he saw her. The most beautiful woman he has even seen in his life. She was sweeping the dirt out of her barracks, and then stopped to look at the sky. She had the most interesting color hair. It was the strangest red that looked purple in the sunlight. She had the greenest eyes that he had ever seen in his life. Kaidan was mesmerized, intrigued and suddenly walking directly to her._

_“Hey, couldn’t help but notice that you were stuck on cleaning duty too” Kaidan began. All that Jane did was smile at him and finish her sweeping. “I’m Kaidan,” he said forcefully, throwing his hand practically into hers. “Shepard” she said amused. “What no first name?” he inquired. “No, its just Shepard” she said grabbing her broom. Kaidan knew that no matter what happens at boot camp, he wanted to know her, and her first name._


	2. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> horrible at summaries, just read it lo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no Beta. =0(

   Jane was standing in the debriefing room with Anderson and Nihlus. They were talking about Eden Prime. Jane remembered Eden Prime. She visited here once after boot camp before her N7 training had begun. She was told that it was a great place to just sit back and relax a vacation spot of sorts. She chuckled to herself as Nihlus was telling Anderson how beautiful the planet was. To her, Eden Prime was a paradise. It was calm, serene, tranquil, and safe and she had the time of her life while she stayed on Eden Prime.

***

   _After she had set her things down, she noticed the view from the window. The rolling hills and mountaintops made her feel like she was in Europe. Jane walked out to the balcony and leaned over with her elbows on the railing. She wasn’t thinking anything, just looking, feeling. She closed her eyes and just listened, and heard a distinct hum from behind before feeling the talons at her waist. Jane smiled and opened her eyes slowly falling back into Nihlus’s chest._

_“The sight is breathtaking, but I have the better view” Nihlus hummed into her ear. Jane closed her eyes again. “Tell me again how a Spectre and a recruit find themselves together in such a paradise,” she said listlessly. Nihlus swooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom._

_” I think it has something to do with a certain recruit being angry and letting a punching bag really have it”._

_“Well, that punching bag was Kaidan’s head”._

_“The better solider won in the end, in more ways than one.” Nihlus said as he placed her down in the bedroom. Jane sat on the edge of the bed, and Nihlus sat next to her gently running his talons through her hair. “A certain Spectre saw promise, and decided she needed extra training”._

_“Yeah, well, you could have warned me. On top of PT, formations, marksmanship, and academics you had me running, fighting, and strategizing at all hours. A girl needs her beauty sleep.” Jane said, giving Nihlus a snide smirk._

_“From where I sit, if that recruit got any more, ‘beauty sleep’ she would have been taken over by a certain biotic.” He said lying back onto his elbows. Nihlus brought one leg up on the bed, and lounged looking at this amazing human woman. Jane followed suit and mirrored Nihlus. She chuckled at him._

_“Aren’t Turians supposed to be disgusted by humans, you know, in that way”? She asked. She took her closest hand and gently rubbed the skin underneath his mandible. It sent chills down Nihlus’s spine, and Jane smiled. Nihlus swiftly sat up and pulled Jane onto his lap. She was about to say something as Nihlus pressed his mouth to hers. Her arms instinctively went around his neck and rubbed small circles on his neck. He hummed into their kiss, and Jane moved to straddle his lap, fully facing him._

_Nihlus let instinct take over. His hands found the bottom hem of her shirt and slipped underneath rubbing her soft back. Jane moved her hips against him, indicating that she approved. In a swift motion, Nihlus unhooked her bra, and before she knew it her short and bra were gone. Jane smiled, “look who is skilled now?” she teased. Nihlus growled and picked her up and laid her on the bed before unclasping his armor and joining her. He laid next to her, placing delicate kisses on her shoulder and arm while tracing small circles on her torso._

_“You know, any other man I have ever been with, after they discard the top half of my clothing start here”, she said as she started to fondle her breast._

_“Do I look like a man to you?” Nihlus said, continuing. Jane smiled, and closed her eyes continuing herself. Nihlus stopped kissing her skin and watched this beautiful woman tease herself. He removed his hand from her torso and delicately ran one talon between her legs to her other breast, before teasing it as well. Jane moaned softly, and that made Nihlus smile._

***

   “Commander!” Anderson bellowed. He had a way of interrupting her memories. Jane shook her head, and blushed slightly. Nihlus looked at her a bit amused, knowing exactly where her thoughts went. “As I was saying, I think it is time to tell the Commander what is going on”.

    Nihlus shook his head. “This is not just a shakedown run. We’re making a covert pick-up on Eden Prime”. He stopped and looked at Jane’s reaction to the news. As he expected, she wasn’t overly surprised, but more intrigued. He had noticed with his time with Jane that when she was truly interested in something she cocked her head slightly to the right and placed her hand in her hair twirling it a bit. It was one of those ‘human’ things she did that Nihlus loved. “That’s why we needed...”

“…the stealth systems operational”, Jane finished with Nihlus. Anderson was somewhat taken aback. He had known they were close, but he had no idea they could finish each other’s sentences. Along with the fact that what they both said were not something that anyone would just say. He began to wonder if there was more there than beats the eye. He looked at Jane expectantly. “I assumed something was going on. It’s not every day a spectre comes aboard. Wait…” She stopped dead in her tracks and gave Nihlus a predatory glare. “You didn’t? I told you not to.” She said. Nihlus knew that look. He had known Jane for a long time now. She was not going to take this easy.

   “This came down from the top. There was a reason we met after all. You were pinned from birth, due to your lineage to be…” Nihlus was saying looking at Anderson.

   “Don’t give me that bullshit! I told you to keep my name out of it!” Jane screamed. She was pacing back and forth trying to wrap her head around this. Nihlus wasn’t just at boot camp to help train the recruits. He was planted there. She stopped suddenly which made both Anderson and Nihlus nervous.

   “Look, Jane”, Nihlus said, his sub-harmonics resonating an apologetic hum. However, Jane’s eyes grew wide.

   “It’s Commander Shepard to you Spectre”, she said with wild eyes. Nihlus looked at her carefully. Anderson knew at this point that this was just more than a mentor kind of relationship, and he looked at Nihlus with disapproving eyes. If anything, Commander Jane Shepard was basically his adopted daughter, and he looked out for her. As her father lay in his arms dying, he vowed to always look out for her no matter what.

   Nihlus looked at Jane, the same Jane he had known from boot camp. He knew his mission was to prove that Shepard had emotions. He was told to bring them out, no matter what they were. He always went along his missions to do the best he could. He did not know that it would be so easy to love her. Instead of hurting her by telling her the truth behind his mission, he simply went along with it. He never really knew what it felt to be wanted. Now, he had ruined it all. Knowing this was going to get out of control quickly, Anderson decided to segue the conversation back onto the mission. “A research team on Eden Prime unearthed some kind of beacon during an excavation. It was Protean. This is big, Shepard. The last time humanity made a discovery like this, it jumped out technology forward two hundred years. You will be going down on the surface with Alonso, and Jenkins. At this point, Nihlus will keep an eye on you”, Anderson was explaining.

   “With all due respect sir, I think I can handle myself and a small team without a babysitter”, Jane said still glaring daggers at Nihlus. Nihlus let his mandibles click, and stood tall. He started to say her name, but coughed. “Commander, this is not me, babysitting, as you say. This is the final piece of the Spectre appointment. My reports have been about your ability, and while I know you will be fine. I still need to send that report”. Jane thought about this, she knew in the back of her head that Nihlus was too good to be true. He was all about his missions, she knew that. She wondered if she was just another mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my friend 'Yomichu' for letting me bounce ideas off of him, and for putting up with me.
> 
> Also, special thanks go to Kabiviolet for being a great writer, and a reason why I decided to write again! =0p


	3. Eden Prime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMMENSE thanks goes out to Yomichu. He wrote the stuff in italics. Brilliant mind, and I wish he would write again.
> 
> Also, Kabiviolet for the edits on this chapter, and for being an amazing friend. <3

   Kaidan knew his friend pretty well. Commander Jane Shepard was one of the best N7 Vanguards the Alliance had to offer. She had come into boot camp with cherry auburn hair, but when it quickly was changed to purple-like red color. He liked it. It was just like her personality, she was one-way when in battle, another when she wasn’t. She had been raised on various cruisers, like the Normandy with both of her parents. Her father died when he and Captain Anderson were on a ground team together. She wouldn’t say where. Just that Anderson was like her father now.

   He knew on her first mission alone something went horribly wrong. She had pinged him after Akuze, and was never the same kind of person again. He also knew that Shepard was the best damn Vanguard he had ever seen. His biotics were better, with his L2 implant, to her L1. But he wondered if he really knew this Commander Jane Shepard that was standing in front of him.

   Just as Shepard was about to open her mouth to debrief her team on their mission, their omni-tools pinged with a video from Eden Prime. Commander Shepard, Kaidan, and Jenkins all stood as still as a statue as they recognized their friend Ashley Williams, and the destruction on the planet below. Instead of giving a pep-talk, Shepard simply said, “Well, you see what we are walking into. Stay sharp, and keep focused”.

   Next to them in the Cargo hold, Nihlus was preparing himself to drop as well. Kaidan had noticed that they were, a little friendly, on the bridge. Now, he couldn’t tell if Shepard wanted to kill Nihlus, or if Nihlus wanted to kill her. “Nihlus? You’re coming with us?” He said, before he even realized the words were out of his mouth. “No, I move faster on my own” Nihlus simply stated. Under her breathe but just loud enough for Kaidan and Nihlus to hear, Jane said, “Yeah, I bet”. Nihlus moved in front of Shepard forcing Kaidan to move back. Jenkins took hold of Kaidan saying that this was a personal conversation, and he couldn’t hear anything else.

   “Jane! Enough of this! You knew I was going to put your name in to be a Spectre after Akuze”. Jane flinched at the mention of it. “You knew damn well that because of who your parents are, that you would be up for something like this. Don’t you dare let this cloud your judgment down there. You saw the vid”. He said. Jane looked at him and blinked a few times, and nodded. Then Nihlus was on Eden Prime.

   Shepard looked back at her team. “Nihlus will scout out ahead. He’ll feed our status reports throughout the mission; otherwise, I want radio silence,” She directed. Kaidan nodded at her. The next thing he could remember would stay with him forever.

   It wasn’t the fact that Jenkins died three minutes into the mission. It wasn’t that they found Ashley unharmed, or the civilians. It also wasn’t the beings that were hollowed versions of humans. Nihlus called them husks. They would give him nightmares. It was Shepard, and her reactions. They were behind cover, watching as it all unfolded.

***

_Most of what Nihlus had seen so far scouting ahead on Eden Prime was nothing new to the combat veteran he was. His years in the Turian Military tagged on to what he had seen as a Spectre had prepared him for many things, though how aggressive the Geth have been along with their new tech unnerved him to his core. His mandible twitched._

_Having seen the geth spikes, he thought, 'If whatever those spikes do that to humans, I'd hate to see what it would do to Turians', He thought grimly. Nihlus had to fight a few husks of what was left of the humans and a few geth that were in his immediate path, eluding the rest around the beacon site. His prime focus was the mission, and his mission was to get to that beacon. Skirting from cover to cover he looked up towards the cargo platform of the transit hub. For all the activity around it seemed oddly empty save for one target he saw in the distance. He thought of Jane, his Jane. He saw her face, and her beauty willed him to be a better Turian._

_He started do move more silently and swiftly letting his Spectre training take over. He moved closer and closer before putting his back to the wall on the ramp leaning up to the landing bay. His talons gripped his weapon naturally getting ready for combat before swinging out and marching up to his target taking aim before surprise overtook him. Lowering his weapon his mandibles slacked slightly in wonder at whom he saw, "Saren?!"_

_A Turian in light grey armor with various cybernetics trailing not only going from place to place on his armor, but also on himself from past injuries turned slowly around their eyes meeting. A calm and almost chilling voice greeted him, "Nihilus."_

_The two seeming comrades in arms walked up to each other as Nihilus relaxed his stance fully seeing his old friend, "This isn't your mission Saren what are you doing here? Last I heard you were systems away."_

_A smile crossed Sarens face as he put his hand on Nihilus's shoulder to reassure him things were fine and how they should be; "With what is going on the Council thought you could use some help on this one." Patting his shoulder he slowly walked past Nihilus seeing his fellow Turian looking off in the distance seeing the destruction of the ship ports of Eden Prime. Then he noticed her. “Oh, so you brought your pet along. I had heard you had a human fetish. Does she know she was a mission? Or did you actually think someone cared for you?” Saren egged on._

_Nihlus looked over to the cover where Jane was. His sub-harmonics rumbled with threat to his mate. "It seems like I need it. I wasn't expecting to find the Geth here. Maybe Batarians but this situation is bad." His gaze shifted over to her. Had he just threatened Nihlus as if Jane was his mate? He shook his head and glanced at the horizon as he noticed something strange, "What is that?"_

_"Don't worry…" Saren shifted his weight his hand gripping his M-6 Carnifex as the weapon folded and shifted from its resting position into its pistol mode. Wrapping his finger off the trigger he turned, "I've got everything under control”. Leveling the barrel at the back of Nihilus's skull at the distance aiming right below his crests he squeezed the trigger. ”Your “mate” will be well taken care of, I assure you."_

  ***

   Kaidan knew Shepard had a relationship with the Turian Spectre, but he had hoped it wasn’t anything serious. However, It was at this moment that time seemed to stop. The horizon wasn’t blue anymore. It was as if the world was in a sepia tone, like an old movie.

   Saren left, and Nihlus lay there dying. Shepard ran to him, cradled his head and her heart screamed. “Nihlus! Nihlus, I am here. Don’t let go. I need an evac down here NOW!” She screamed. Kaidan saw Nihlus reach up to her. He cradled her face.

   “You weren’t just a mission Jane. You were THE mission. My only mission.” He said, as his voice grew weaker. “I love you, and intended to make you my mate”. Jane wasn’t crying she was just looking down at his face. That’s when it happened. Nihlus’s hand dropped, and his body went limp. Jane looked at him for a moment, and whispered, “I love you too Nihlus, watch over me.”

   Kaidan looked into Shepard’s eyes as she walked over to him. He saw anger; no it was something stronger than that. He was unbridled hate. Whatever Saren unleashed in her by killing Nihlus, Kaidan was happy it wasn’t him. Then a thought crossed the back of his mind. ‘I will be the one to pick up the pieces from this. Then she will love me.’


	4. The Road Less Traveled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's been a crazy few weeks for me personally. Long story short, we buried my cousin who I was raised with. I've been sitting on this update all week, and have yet to even start the next chapter. It may be another week or two. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me.

The last thing Commander Jane Shepard remembered was a strange voice. She had understood the strange voice, but couldn’t quite place it. She awoke with a throbbing headache and a heavy heart. She sat up sharply, and regretted that decision. The medbay and Dr. Chakwas were spinning around her. It wasn’t even one of those nice, ‘I am buzzed’ kind of spinning’s. This was the kind where she knew her life just took a severe left turn down some dark alley. Then she heard Dr Chakwas.

            “I had to lock the medbay doors to keep Kaidan from checking in on you every five minutes”. Jane looked at her confused. “How long was I out?” She asked. “Well, we docked at the citadel about an hour ago. So, two days.” The good doctor said. Jane swung her legs to the side, rubbing her head and focusing her eyes to make the world less spinny.

            “Not so fast Commander. How do you feel?” Chakwas asked. Jane looked up at her. Her heart was unbearably heavy, and suddenly she felt that she was lost in some kind of dark alleyway. Jane knew something bad was going to happen. She smiled to herself, and then it hit her, “I shall be telling this with a sigh. Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” She quoted. Dr. Chakwas looked at her thoughtfully. “You know, had I not delivered you and known your family and your history, that would have sounded not as great. But your love for Robert Frost is dually noted Commander”. She said smiling and typing something on her omni-tool. “Either way, I detected some unusual brain activity. The kind that wouldn’t have you quoting, ‘The Road Not Taken’, but the kind with abnormal beta waves”. She said.

            Jane’s smile faded as the doctor that stood in front of her, the one she has known since birth, became serious. “I also noticed an increase in your rapid eye movement, signs typically associated with intense dreaming. Now I won’t pretend to be a psychiatrist, but I am assuming this was not the road you were intending to take, was it Commander?” Chakwas said.

            Shepard stood up, and looked out the window of the medbay to the empty mess. “I saw…” she started, but stopped. She looked down at her hands and turned around. Dr. Chakwas noted how the Commander paled as noticeably a horrid thought rose to her. Chakwas saw that Jane’s shoulders slumped down suddenly like the weight of the world was on her. The good doctor wondered if it was the death of Nihlus that did this to Jane. However, before she could speculate further, Shepard continued, “I saw death, destruction, and an end. I saw…” she paused. “An end, but I don’t know whose”. She looked up at her beloved family friend. Chakwas looked at her, she wasn’t the little Jane she had remembered, and right now she wasn’t even the Commander Shepard she had grown quite accustomed to seeing. Dr. Chakwas was looking at a woman, a woman with a mission.

***

            Sometime between talking to the council at the Citadel Tower, and meeting the C-Sec turian Garrus Vakarian.  Jane had a strange feeling. She still had a raw spot in her heart where Nihlus was supposed to be. She closed her eyes and could swear she heard the gentle hum of his sub-vocals. Either way, she had a job to do and she hoped that looking at this new turian wouldn’t divert her from her goal, get more evidence against Saren to convince the council.

            Jane ended up quite successful. She even ran into Garrus again in the clinic, and recruited him to her cause. He had some glorified hero quality about him that made her pay attention. She rescued and recruited a quarian named Tali’Zorah Nar Rayya, and even a Krogan, Urdont Wrex. It wasn’t until they had all settled on the Normandy that Jane stopped to reflect. “Commander Jane Shepard and her motley crew”, she thought.

***

_The Asari Councilor spoke up first. “Commander Shepard, step forward.” She said, “it is the decision of the council that you be granted all the powers and priveledges of the special tactics and reconnaisance branch of the citadel.”_

_Jane’s eyes grew wide. This wasn’t happening. The Salarian councilor continued, “Spectres are not trained, but chosen.” People started to gather around, “Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above rank and file.”_

_Jane looked behind her at the faces of Udina and Anderson. While Anderson beamed with pride, Udina looked ill. The Asari councilor spoke again, “Spectres are an ideal, a symbol.” Kaidan and Ashley had huge smiles on their face. “The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the council, instruments of our will.”_

_She looked at the rest of her motley crew. Garrus was shocked, Wrex looked indifferent and amused, and Tali? Well, Jane couldn’t see what kind of look she had. She looked back at the council as the Turian councilor looked at her with fierce eyes. He knew about Shepard and Nihlus. His voice boomed through the tower, “Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold.” Jane noted the disapproving sub-vocals he was giving off. She wondered what her new turian recruit was thinking about that. She made a mental note to ask when they were back on the Normandy._

_Finally the Asari councilor finished, “You are the first human spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species.” Jane blushed, and quickly but confidently replied, “I am honored, councilors.”_

***

Jane reflected on how her life had just changed. Maybe the road less traveled was the better one? She had convinced the council that Saren was looking for the conduit, with the help of Tali. She just had to convince herself that she could do it. Stepping onto the bridge with Joker smiling at her, and Anderson’s heroic presence missing she gulped and order the Comm to be open. This was it, this would set the tone. Don’t fuck this up Shepard.

“This is your Commander speaking. We have our orders: find Saren before he finds the conduit.” She paused for dramatic effect. “And I refuse to let anything get in the way of that mission! We all know what happened on Eden Prime. We saw the destruction. We saw the bodies. We saw what Saren did, and I plan to make him pay!” When did her hand ball up into a fist? “For too long our species has stood apart from the others. Now it’s time for us to step up and do our part for the rest of the galaxy! Time to show them what humans are made of! Our enemy knows we are coming. When we get into the traverse, Saren’s followers will be waiting for us, but we will be ready for them, too.” She stood taller, proud, and confident. “Humanity needs to do this. Not just for our own sake, but for the sake of every other species in citadel space. Saren must be stopped, and I promise you all...we will stop him!”

Chakwas smiled proudly, “That’s my girl!”

Wrex balled up his fist and pumped it in the air.

Tali nodded.

Ashley and Kaidan stood tall and saluted.

Joker stood tall and proud.

And Garrus, he was in awe of how one person could inspire a Krogan, Quarian, and the entire race of Humanity to fight back for what was right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my Beta, Kabiviolet. I heart you more than words could express.


	5. A Happy Crew?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some rounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long update time. I am getting prepared for my first professional job. I have also been sitting on these edits for about a week's time =0/

Jane retreated to her quarters after her spectre appointment and first speech as Commander of the Normandy. She wasn’t really in the mood to do rounds yet. And her head was still thinking about losing Nihlus. In hindsight, she realized how dumb she was for fighting with Nihlus about what his real intentions were. She knew deep in her heart that what they had was real. After all, isn’t that the best way to find your soul _mate_.

Leaning back in her chair, Jane put her feet up on her desk and let her thoughts wander further. Nihlus had taught her so much, and a part of her enjoyed the fact that her good friend Kaidan was annoyed by her choice to be with Nihlus. He had been chasing her since their time in boot camp. She found it cute at first, thinking or rather hoping, he would just move on after she did not display any interest.

_When Kaidan had watched Jane go through round after round as she shot her Brawler II. He wasn’t impressed at her accuracy, or how she managed to fire so many rounds without overheating the gun. He was impressed at the way the light caught her on the range._

_As Kaidan stood afar, he thought, ‘There she was a vision of beauty’. Jane’s hair was an interesting hue of reddish purple, and her stance was predatory. She was focused, and exquisite. He knew she was the best damn solider he had ever come across, and her legs went on for days. He couldn’t focus, and wouldn’t dare look away. Then he saw reality, and it slapped him across the face. That turian spectre the Alliance brought in, he was touching Jane, HIS Jane. He watched as Nihlus stood behind Jane, arms reaching around her holding the pistol with her. He thought, ‘Lucky son of a bitch!’_

_Jane had been unaware that anyone was watching her, besides Nihlus. Then she caught Kaidan’s eye. She smiled slyly remembering the conversation she had with Nihlus earlier that day._

_“Are you sure your friend won’t mind? I mean when I first met you, you were beating the crap out of the punching bag because of him.” Nihlus said._

_“Who? Kaidan? No, he has some sort of fixation on me. He is like a brother to me. We challenge each other so that we can be the best that we can be.” She commented._

_“Well, you know that when he is around you seem to give off a different kind of pheromone.” “What?” Jane said taken off guard._

_“Turians, we have a better sense of smell. Part of what makes you so sexy when your angry” he said smiling. Jane’s mouth fell open, and Nihlus could see that she was trying to talk, or form words, but nothing came out. “It’s ok, I didn’t know if you had any interest in him or not.”_

She sat up, ‘was there any interest there?’ She pondered. Whatever it was, she found herself strangely drawn to Kaidan. She knew she felt deeply for him because he made her a better solider, but was there something more there? Jane’s musings brought her to one simple fact that made her chuckle, he certainly was human, not turian. The question was, did she find humans as attractive as she found turians?

At that thought Jane was brought back to the real world and her mission to find Saren. She had just recruited a very eclectic group of aliens, and that thought warmed her soul. She barely knew any of them, but she felt like she had known them for years. If she had learned anything in her N7 training, it was that you got better results when your crew was happy. Looking around her quarters, and back down at her mission reports, Jane slowly rose to her feet and decided it was time to come out of her isolation and do her rounds. “A happy crew is a lethal force” she said aloud, and headed for the cargo bay to start her rounds.

***

Jane Shepard had no idea who she would talk to first. She decided that once the elevator actually stopped moving at its snail pace, she would just survey the area and see where it took her. It didn’t take long because as soon as the doors opened, Wrex looked over at her.

“Nice ship you’ve got here, Shepard”, Wrex’s booming voice came from her left. She smiled to herself and walked over to him.

“Well, you know it’s the best the Alliance and Turians could do”, she said nonchalantly.

“I don’t trust a turian as far as I can throw him”, Wrex said raising his voice and eyeing Garrus. Shepard’s face turned in the direction that Wrex was referring to, but Garrus was completely underneath the Mako, and happily oblivious to the conversation going on.

“Oh? Is there more to this story?” She asked. Wrex chuckled menacingly. “There was this one time where the turians almost wiped out my entire race. That was fun.”

“I guess the Turians had issues with everyone at one point or another. But, now I don’t think they are so bad.”

“I knew you would say something like that. You reek of turian”. Wrex scoffed. Shepard tensed up, her mind quickly processing the information that Nihlus had once told her.

“I, uh, wasn’t aware krogan had a keen sense of smell”. Wrex looked at her plainly. Not amused, or even angry.

“Hey, what you do on your own time is no business of mine, besides what the Turians did to us, it’s just not the same”.

Jane perplexed at this statement, and Wrex continued, “Your people weren’t infected with a genetic mutation where only a few in a thousand children survive birth.” At this piece of information, Jane was appalled.

“Uhh, no we weren’t”.

 “I don’t expect you to understand, but don’t compare humanity’s fate with the Krogan”.

Jane looked Wrex in the eye, “I wasn’t trying to upset you, just trying to get to know you”. Jane thought about the mantra, ‘a happy crew is a lethal force’ and chalked this meeting up to a loss. Wrex shook his head.

“Your ignorance doesn’t upset me, Shepard. The Genophage may be affecting us, but it will not kill us”. She thought about his words for a moment.

“Keep that resolve for our mission, and we will be just fine”. Shepard said with a careful eye on the Krogan. Wrex shrugged her off and Jane tentatively walked over to Ashley Williams letting out an audible sigh.

“What’s wrong skipper?” Ashley squeaked.

“Just wasn’t expecting that,” Jane said shrugging her shoulder to Wrex. Ashley’s face followed and scrunched up.

“Permission to speak freely” Ashley asked tentatively.

“Granted, what’s on your mind Williams?”

“It’s just, I don’t know why we had to recruit so many…” Ashley trailed off, and Jane knew where this was going. She heard of the infamous General Williams on Shanxi.

“Hey, look” Jane said placing a hand on Ashley’s shoulder. Both of their faces softened. “Everybody I found has a purpose here”. She motioned over to Garrus, “He was investigating Saren before we were even aware of who or what he was doing”. She looked over at Wrex, “I am not quite sure what his past is with Saren, but he is hell bent on catching him too”. Ashley chuckled slightly and Jane released her arm.

“Yeah, I don’t want to be in his way in battle”. Ashley said sizing up the Krogan.

“Me either, but look, be my eyes and ears down here Ash.” This made Ashley perk up and she saluted.

“Aye aye ma’am!” Jane chuckled, and so did Ashley.

“I’ll catch up with you later” she said before moving her way tentatively toward the Turian. This was one conversation she was not looking forward to. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but something intrigued her about this Turian, but could she handle talking to Garrus without thinking about Nihlus?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think, I love feedback of all kinds! I am thinking of not writing about missions because we all know them so well now. Instead, I wanted to focus this fic on the the cut scenes and make it like a deleted/extended scenes kind of thing. What do you think?


	6. Garrus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I have been MIA lately. I am actually a professor now, and am teaching two writing courses. I am having nightmares about essays. 
> 
> Anyway, I know it is short, but I do have plans for this AU walk-through if you stick with me.

She wasn’t quite sure why it was still bothering her. It’s not like she hasn’t seen or known death. In fact, Commander Shepard had known death on a first name basis for a while now. So why would it be hitting her now? She was walking toward Garrus, when the memory hit.  
Arriving at the colony was eerie. It looked like a ghost town. Shepard looked around at her unit, her very first unit. Something didn’t feel right. Looking at the colony you could just picture the hustle and bustle of all the people who were going about their normal day. However, those people no longer had the chance to live. She turned around to face her unit.  
“Ok soldiers, our orders are to investigate what happened here. Jones, take company Alpha and start left. Robinson, take Beta to the right. I will take Theta down the center. Meet back here at 20:30, dismissed.” Jane said.  
All they could do was search every building looking for clues as to why this colony went silent. Besides the eerie feeling that she saw from all her soldier’s’ eyes; time seemed to stand still. Before Jane could think straight, it was time to meet up with everyone else. “Report” she said standing tall wondering where two hours had just gone.  
“Ma’am, all buildings are empty, but it looks like whatever happened here, that the colonists were not harmed.” Jones commented.  
“Yeah, that sounds about right” Jane nonchalantly replied. She thought about the dinner she saw sitting on the table of one of the bunker’s she investigated. “It looks as though everyone just disappeared, or vanished” she said speculating, and continued “Grab your gear and make camp in the center of the colony for the night. Let’s see what kind of ghost stories we can uncover tonight”. “Aye” her company all said and saluted her. This was going to be one long night.  
Garrus noticed out of the corner of his eye that Commander Shepard was walking toward him. When he had first met the Commander on the Citadel, everything was rushed. He felt as if there was something more to this human female, something unexplainable that he just reacted to. Then he looked up at his Commander’s face.

“You ok Commander?” Garrus asked looking at Shepard’s pale face. Jane shook her head shaking away the memories of her first failed command. “Yeah” she said tentatively. She looked at Garrus and he cocked his head to the side. Something primal hit him. Low in his sub-harmonics he growled as a sent filled his heightened turian senses. He felt a need to protect this woman, this wasn’t a cop reflex, this was a down to the plates turian primal instinct.  
Jane looked at Garrus and heard a low rumble. Knowing turians as well as she did, she picked up on it immediately. Garrus was reacting in a way that Nihlus would when she got hit on.  
Jane chuckled at the memory and display in front of her. Now it was her turn to ask, “Garrus, are you ok?”  
“I uhhh, yeah uhhh, I wanted to thank you for the uhhh chance to get off the citadel.” Garrus was rubbing the back of his head. He thanked the spirits Jane couldn’t hear the embarrassed sub-harmonic rumbling in his chest. He switched his weight from left to right, sighed, and continued, “I know Saren is up to something, and all that red tape, well its damned annoying.” Jane cut him off.  
“Red tape is there for a reason Garrus. We can’t just go snooping where our noses don’t belong. You know how these things work.” She said giving him her full attention. Then it hit her. Jane realized that not everyone was privy to the information that she and Nihlus were in Manus negotiations. Garrus had no idea about Nihlus, and he must have picked up what Wrex sensed too. She smiled to herself, “I should go” she said simply, and walking away.  
Garrus took one last look at Jane, and felt something he couldn’t put into words. He knew that the woman who just walked away from him was amazing. Hell, he knew that on the citadel, but now? Now he would go to all lengths to get to know this human, to protect her, no matter the cost.


	7. Let it go

Shepard stepped out of the elevator and was walking to her quarters when she spied Kaidan out of the corner of her eye. Her mind was reeling with all the memories of Akuze and Nihlus.  
“Commander, you alright?” Kaidan asked.  
“Uhh yeah, just a lot on my mind.” Shepard said as she sat on the steps by Kaidan’s work station.  
“You know, the last time I saw you this way was right before the war games.” He said softly, leaning over the short barrier. Kaidan admired Jane’s soft features. He really did enjoy the way the purple tint of her hair showed in the light. Then he noticed that she was playing with her hair and smiled.  
“What are you so happy about?” Jane asked looking up.  
“You know, whenever you are thinking your way through something you twirl your hair. At least I know it’s not interesting enough for you to run head first into some crazy adventure.”  
“Oh? And how do you know that?” Jane replied rather surprised, swiftly dropping her hand.  
“Because you cock your head to the side before you get that sly smile of yours,” he said. Jane looked at Kaidan, taken aback a little. Was she really that telling? “Before you ask, no you are not that predictable. I have just picked up on some of your subtle nuances over the years,” he said, walking over to sit next to her. If it were anyone else who sat next to her, she would have felt that her personal space was violated. But this was her Kaidan. Wait? When had he become hers? She pushed the thoughts aside for now, and straightened her back.  
“Kaidan, what happened after boot camp?” Jane asked looking down. The question took Kaidan by surprise. He wasn’t sure what she was fishing for. “I mean what happened to us? I feel like I lost my best friend, my brother.” She looked up and met his eyes. Kaidan frowned at the thought.  
“I uhh, well damn. You ran off with Nihlus, and I just figured you had all the backup you needed. You went on to N7, and I well, you know my dossier,” he replied quietly. “What is this really about Shepard?” He was careful not to use her first name. Jane shook her head and stood up quickly.  
“It’s nothing. I have work to do.” She said walking toward her quarters determined to get out of this awkward situation. She really had a tendency to ramble when she was getting emotional.  
“Shep...Shepard...wait, JANE!”  
Kaidan wasn’t known for raising his voice. Jane knew he was deliberate in how he conducted himself, so hearing her first name in that tone stopped her dead in her tracks. Kaidan came to her and lifted her chin so that they were eye to eye.  
“It is ok to cry. I won’t think of you any less. You are hurt, hell I didn’t even like him and I am hurt. Your strong, stronger than most. But Jane, no one is strong enough to not feel when someone they love died.” He said. Jane looked at Kaidan with tears in her eyes.  
“I can’t, Kaidan.” She whispered, willing herself not to cry.  
“Jane”, Kaidan hummed, “you and I both know you need to deal with his loss and move on”. He moved his hands to her shoulders and rubbed up and down her arms comforting.  
Kaidan knew he really shouldn’t push for her to reveal anything about how she felt about him, but he figured that if he could help her get through this, it may open up the thought to her. Jane looked off to the side.  
“I…” she began to say. Then the elevator opened, making them both turn their heads. Garrus, Tali, and Ashley stepped out. A single tear slipped from Jane’s eye and she quickly rubbed it away. Deliberately, Jane said, “I expect those reports to be on my desk before your shift is over, Alenko. Dismissed.”  
Garrus watched as Shepard brushed the tear from her face, and growled.as Shepard walked briskly past him, hitting his shoulder on the way to the CIC. Garrus, Tali, and Kaidan watched her leave the room, and Ashley just looked at Kaidan, sympathetically.  
“Was that?” Ashley asked Kaidan.  
“Yeah, at least the start of it,” he replied, solemnly sitting down. Ashley moved to sit across from him, and Garrus looked at them as his mandibles clicked.  
“Rather you than me. She’s known you longer,” Ashley stated.  
Tali was still at Garrus’s side. She turned and said low enough that Ashley and Kaidan couldn’t hear. “What is wrong with the Commander?” Garrus shrugged.  
“Didn’t you two come up here to raid a refrigerator?” she asked Garrus rather angrily. Garrus flared his mandibles in confusion, he wanted to ask what a refrigerator was but decided to go search for food instead. Tali followed him silently. They busied themselves searching all the cabinets in the mess while the two humans spoke.  
“How long will it take for her to get over him? I mean, they weren’t that serious. Well, I don’t actually know how that would work with a human and…” Ashley coughed mid-sentence.  
“Ash, you know Jane just as well as I do. She will re-focus herself on the mission and that will be that,” Kaidan replied, looking at his hands. Garrus found the dextro MREs and tossed a pack to Tali. He and Tali looked at the two humans.  
“I always thought talking about a superior when they were not in the room was not allowed,” Tali said. Garrus chuckled a bit.  
“While I was in C-Sec I saw a lot of that. Apparently, humans are not as disciplined as some other cultures,” he told Tali.  
“Interesting…,” she replied as they began walking to the elevator to go back to their stations. They were about to walk past the table when he overheard Kaidan say, “This would be easier if she weren’t so damn, well, turian”. Something about that comment made Garrus smile, but he walked toward the elevator unnoticed anyway.  
Garrus keyed for the elevator and Tali elbowed him, “Hear that? You aren’t the only turian on here after all.” The comment made him chuckle again. He was going to like Tali.  
Before they got onto the elevator he looked at Kaidan and Ashley one last time. Whatever they were up to didn’t sit right with Garrus. He felt that primal instinct to protect run up his spine and shivered.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> real life got in the way sorry

A/N: I had said before that this is not going to be a walkthrough fic. So before Chapter 8, the Therum mission happens and we successfully get Liara. Garrus and Kaidan went with Shepard on this mission.

The cargo bay closed. Shepard, Kaidan, Garrus and Liara all walked out of the Mako. Each one of them looking exhausted, and Shepard rubbing her shoulder. 

“Kaidan can you take Liara up and introduce her to the good doctor, I will be up in a minute” She said. 

“Yes Commander” He replied courteously. Shepard watched Garrus go over to his locker and begin to store away his equipment. She looked around and approached Ashley. She pulled out her HMWP Pistol. 

“Ash, I am looking to mod my pistol. Against Krogan its, well, its taking me too long” She said looking fondly as the pistol. 

“Is this?” She asked.

“Yeah, it is. I am not ready to part with it. What do you think?” 

“Well Skipper, why not ask Kaidan, or Wrex?” She said humbly. Shepard leaned towards Ashley, with Garrus at her back and whispered, “Well, you understand”. 

Ashley looked at her Commander fondly as she walked away.   
“Be ready for the debrief in 20 everyone, and let Tali know” Shepard said before disappearing.

***

Shepard She stood at the door and the room hushed. She would never get tired of that. She looked up solemnly, and whispered, “See told you, important people get quiet”. She was sure Nihlus heard her. 

Wrex looked at her like she was crazy, but she didn’t even notice. She walked across the room and leaned on the railing. She set down the syringe that Dr. Chakwas gave her on the way up and activated her onmitool that the debrief was beginning. 

“Not cool Commander. Too close. Ten more second and we would’ve been swimming in molten sulphur.” Joker’s voice boomed. Shepard, Kaidan, and Ashley all smiled while the more alien of the crew looked around to each other. “The Normandy isn’t equipped to land in exploding volcanoes.” Kaidan was hiding a chuckle. “They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull, you know, just for future reference.” He finished. 

“Dually noted Joker, Shepard out”. She clicked on the privacy mode, and rubbed her shoulder trying to work out the kink from Theum. 

Through the silence, Liara’s horrified voice came, “We almost died down there and your pilot is making jokes?” 

“Joker pulled our asses out of there, I think he earned the right to a few bad jokes.” She calmly replied.

“Hey, they aren’t bad jokes.” Joker replied. Shepard shook her head and double checked her onmitool.

“I don’t want to know HOW you encrypted the privacy setting…” She began. 

“It was your friendly neighborhood doctor overriding it to remind you to use the damn medicine.” Joker replied. 

“Yeah, yeah. Liara, you were saying?” All the heads in the room looked over at the confused and exacerbated Liara. 

“I see. Well..” 

Kaidan didn’t let her get in anymore before his curiosity took over. “What did Saren want with you? Do you know anything about the conduit?”

Everyone was looking at Liara expectantly. Shepard took the opportunity to un-sleeve her left arm, and inspect her bruising from Therum. “Only that it was somehow connected to the Prothean extinction” Liara was saying. Shepard mumbled to herself, “yeah, I’ve got my own theories to their extinction”. Her mumbling made Garrus look over to her in just enough time to see her wince as she stuck her shoulder with the syringe.

“According to my findings, the Protheans were not the first galactic civilization to mysteriously vanish. This cycle began long before them” She continued. Shepard quickly finished up, and fixed herself before saying, “Where’d you come up with this theory? I thought there wasn’t any evidence.”

Liara’s eyes lite up. It was like giving Red Sand to an addict. “It is difficult to explain to someone else”. At that answer Shepard scoffed. “But I know I’m right, i will be able to prove it.” Liara was explaining. 

“Great, another ego” Ashley retorted. Kaidan glared at her. 

“If the Protheans weren’t first, then who was?” Shepard challenged to Liara. 

“I don’t know. The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction. Each time a great civilization rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down. Only ruins surviving” she answered. 

“I know what happened to them” Shepard said matter of factly.

“They were wiped out” Tali chimed in. 

“Yeah, by sentient machines called the Reapers” Shepard finished. Everyone looked at Liara for her reaction. This was already common knowledge on the Normandy.

“R..R..Reapers? But I never heard of...How do you know? Where is your evidence?” Liara asked to Shepard. Challenging her the same way she had a few moments prior.

“There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It burned a vision into my brain. Plus, Tali here had some files.” She answered.

“A vision? Yes, that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is how you got the vision. I mean, the beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. It’s no wonder the Geth were after it, but you would have to be of Prothean physiology to receive it.” Liara was looking a little perplexed, and Shepard walked toward her, and Liara stood in front of her. “I am amazed you were able to make sense of it at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process”. 

“Good thing she pushed you out of the way LT.” Ashley said as she nudged Kaidan. 

“Yeah….HEY” He replied. “This isn’t helping us find Saren, or the conduit”. Garrus and Wrex both agreed to Kaidan’s statement.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, but if Saren comes after me it would be safer for me and my knowledge of Protheans to be on this ship”. Liara said hopefully.

“Not to mention her biotics will come in handy when the fighting starts.” Wrex commented. Garrus looked at Wrex, “When it starts? Some of us had already seen the fighting” he replied. Shepard’s head immediately focused on Garrus. Something about his undertone irked her. Kaidan and Ashley saw Jane’s head whip to Garrus, and Ashley nudge Kaidan up. 

“Yeah, the fighting has already started, but she would definitely be a help Commander” he said coming to her side. Just then Liara started to wobble and looked as if she was going to fall. Kaidan promptly caught her. “When was the last time you ate, or slept?”

“I am fine” Liara said softly. “I just need to process”.

“That sounds like a great idea. Liara go straight to your quarters and get some rest. Everyone else, we are enroute for Feros. More information will be sent as I get it. Dismissed.” Shepard said. She watched everyone leave, and decided some rest sounded great.

It didn’t seem like she slept for a few hours, but all was quiet, in the middle of the night. Shepard couldn’t find herself in the mess of her thoughts and feelings, she was barely able to relax. She walked the ship, doing random inspections that she should have been keeping up with all along. She found herself in the cargo bay.Shepard looked around to see who was still around, and she saw Turian feet and a light blue haze of Garrus’s visor.

Garrus knew it was late for humans to be awake, and assumed the Commander didn’t notice he was there. 

Shepard found herself in the very spot where she last saw Nihlus alive. She looked down at her boots, and found herself hugging herself, re-playing the memories of that day. Garrus looked on and figured this was going to be a private moment for her, and clicked off his translator to give her privacy.

“You weren’t suppose to die” Shepard said to the air. She looked up, her eyes red and wet. 

“Why did I have to let Kaidan in?” She sniffed. Garrus heard nothing, but some foreign language he did not understand. However, something made him stop, and just watch her. Shepard’s body language was telling him all he needed to know. She was grieving, and coming to terms with it. 

“You know, I told you this before, but I am finding it to be hard to come to terms with. If you hadn’t walked into the gym when you did, I wouldn’t have given you the time of day”, she said as she started to pace. Shepard was twining her hair with her finger, “It’s because of you that I can’t move on, it’s because of you I can’t have healthy relationships”. 

Garrus started to feel as if he was intruding and stealthy moved away to continue fixing the Mako. Shepard continued to talk to no one, becoming angry as she spoke. Garrus chuckled, he often found himself doing the same thing after hard days with C-Sec. Then out of no where, he heard in perfect Palavan, "It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty."* Garrus had to check his translator and it was, indeed, clicked off. 

Shepard walked away and rode the elevator up. She left Garrus dumbfounded.

 

*The quote is from the Dalai Lama about moving on after the death of a loved on.


	9. Spirits

*This chapter was inspired by the ideas from FFNet user KrystylSky. The idea was, “I want to see Shepard n Garrus with the "spirit" of nihlus helping her and giving her encouragement to move on as well as nihlus giving Garrus approval and help with wooing as a spirit :)”

Garrus stepped out from the Mako and stood there a moment longer after his commander left. 

“She is something isn’t she?” 

“Yeah, she is” Garrus answered and felt a coldness start in his spine and make its way up through his plates. He shivered on instinct, and looked to his left. “SPIRITS!”

“No just one”. Garrus looked at the dead spectre with wild eyes.

“You know, I believe in the spirits just as much as any Turian, but this...this is…” Garrus trailed off. Nihlus waited patiently until the young Turian in front of him regained his composure. 

“Garrus, listen to me. I need you to do me a favor” Nihlus spoke squaring his shoulders to Garrus. “Jane is unique, she is special, and she is unlike any other person in this galaxy” he started. Garrus huffed in response. “I had planned to go on many missions with her, and mentor her before they gave her this status.”

“I see. What do you need me for then?” Garrus asked folding his arms. 

“After I met your commander at her boot camp, I saw she was overlooked for that biotic up there” Nihlus said pointing up. Garrus followed his finger and put two and two together. He was talking about Kaidan. “Look, I cannot tell you what I know, from where I am currently, but if he...if he is allowed to get into her head. The galaxy as a whole will suffer.” 

“So you want me to make sure she stays away from Kaidan? One of her closest confidants?” Garrus asked somewhat amused. Nihlus slapped his hand across his face and sighed.

“I know you are still young, but you have a proud name, Vakarian.” Garrus stood a little taller. “You know what her mission is. They don’t. You are the only one aboard this ship besides that pilot that knows who Saren is and what he is capable of.”

“I only know so much” Garrus interrupted.

“Garrus!” Nihlus pleaded. Garrus looked at the Turian. His mandibles were closed tight, and his crest was higher than it usually would be. It didn’t take Garrus long to decipher the bewildered look of this scared Turian. “When Saren killed me, he uploaded some files from my omni-tool. Those files have everything that has ever happened to Commander Jane Shepard in them. Her past, as tragic as it was, her test scores, her psych evaluations...Garrus he knows how to exploit her.” 

A low growl came from deep inside of Garrus. Nihlus looked at him, and his crest fell back to its slacked position on his head. 

“Good, that’s what I wanted to hear. Garrus, you were meant to be here. You are meant to do a lot. I wish I could tell you.” Nihlus said his subtone ringing of sadness and regret. “Think back to boot camp Vakarian. What is standard 96T?” 

“The agent intends the good effect and not the bad either as a means to the good or as an end itself” Garrus rumbled off.**

“Right. In this case I need you to protect her. Watch out for her Garrus, make sure she stays ahead of Saren. Have her six!” He placed a hand on Garrus’s shoulder, and looked straight into his eyes. “Tell me that no matter what happens, you will be there”.

Garrus took a moment, faced away from Nihlus and thought. He closed his eyes and thought of his Commander. He sighed after what felt like hours, and slowly turned back around. Nihlus already sensed what Garrus was feeling, because he saw it happen. 

“You have my blessing” Nihlus blurted out. 

“I have...what?!?” Garrus looked at him shocked.

“Garrus, I am no longer of the living. If it can’t be me, I would rather it be you. I trust you.” He stated. “She took the steps tonight that were needed to move on. I was right over there” Nihlus pointed to the back left corner of the cargo bay. “She used to summon my presence every night. I would hold her at night. I watched her shed so many tears that she has no more left to shed. Garrus, I cannot, and will not stand to see her fail.”

“I understand. I accept your offer and favor.” Garrus said.

“You know where to find me. Have fun with that one. She is quite the handful” Nihlus said as he turned away. Garrus watched him walk away, not knowing whether to expect him to fade into the air, or pass through the cargo bay walls. He took off his visor and rubbed his eyes.

“Oh and Garrus?” a disembodied voice whispered. “Don’t get on her bad side, she is insufferable when pissed off. She could rival any Turian in heat”.

“Thanks” Garrus chuckled and tapped the elevator. Garrus waited patiently thinking that he better start making good on his promise.

 

**Source: T. A. Cavanaugh, Double-Effect Reasoning: Doing Good and Avoiding Evil, p.36, Oxford: Clarendon Press**


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot bunny happened. Enjoy!

The elevator stopped on the crew deck, and it was in the middle of the night. Garrus looked around and saw many of the humans in their sleeping pods, Kaidan included. He confidently rapped on the Commander’s lock door. Hoping for the best.

Inside, Shepard was sitting at her terminal with her hands in her hair and head down frustrated. She had just made the hard decision to move on with her life, and give Kaidan a try. She heard a knock come to her door and looked at the clock on her terminal with the reports of Noveria and Feros up. She swiped her arm in the circle to cue her terminal to show the camera on her door. She let out a relieving sigh to see Garrus standing there and not Kaidan. She wasn’t ready for Kaidan yet. 

Commander Shepard’s door blinked green and Garrus entered her private quarters. Immediately his senses were abashed. Jane saw his body language turn inward and she stood in parade rest, knowing Garrus’s military instinct would kick in. Garrus mirrored her and cleared his throat.

“Commander” He said.

“Garrus it’s Jane” she invited.

“Jane...ummm...I was just coming to….” Garrus trailed off. He couldn’t stand here at parade rest and ask his Commander, whom just offered her private first name, about her personal life. This wasn’t right, he needed a plan B, and he needed it now. Looking around the room he caught the terminal and his visor made a few calculations. “...I was just coming to request to be on your next ground team.” He quickly said. 

Jane smiled and relaxed her posture. She wasn’t sure what she expected from him, but him being in her quarters made her insides quiver. “I wouldn’t want anyone else at my six Vakarian. I was actually just looking over mission reports.” She commented sitting down again. 

Garrus visually relaxed as he acclimated to not only his surroundings, but her scent. He made a mental memory that this scent was to be protected. As he was calibrating his mental memory a cold shiver went up his spine and whisper of a voice said, “Yes”. He knew that voice, and he swore to that voice earlier that he would watch and protect the Commander. The soft indication of approving sentiment, made his sub-harmonics sing with hope.

Jane looked over her shoulder at Garrus, and caught him with his eyes closed and heard the contentend, hopeful Turian hum she knew so well from Nihlus. Goosebumps formed on her arms, and she had that exquisite feeling in her core, the one she never knew she would feel again since Nihlus passed. She smiled to herself, “I’m glad you approve Vakarian. What do you think? Feros or Noveria?” 

Startled, Garrus stood up straight. Did she actually hear him? Humans cannot hear sub-harmonics, can they? Does she know? 

“No she doesn’t” Nihlus said as he appeared next to Jane’s terminal. “No she cannot see me, she is still too hurt to open her mind to this. She heard your hope, but she believes it is because of the ground crew”. Nihlus looked amused.

“Uhh, you want MY opinion? Wouldn’t Kaidan’s opinion be more appropriate?” Garrus asked. Nihlus shot him a glare, and rumbled with discontentment.

Jane shrugged. “At the moment, he and I are not seeing eye to eye on many matters. I trust your gut.” 

“My gut Commander?”

“It’s Jane, Garrus, and your gut would your instinct” She corrected him.

“Oh, yes, ummm, Noveria would be the next plausible choice. There are planets there that would be of some interest to your more archeological crew members” Garrus read from his visor.

Jane smirked, “Read my mind Vakarian”. 

***

Noveria. It was cold, dark, disgusting, and really cold according to Garrus. However to Shepard, this place weighed heavily on her mind. She had just killed Liara’s mother, and made a huge decision that she hoped she wouldn’t live to regret. How was she going to tell Liara? And now she was staring down a particularly large bug that she would rather squish like all those spiders of her past.  
Shepard was taking a rest, and with her hand on her knees caught her breath. Her head tingled, and she felt very dizzy all of sudden. Garrus felt the shiver in his spine and looked over at Jane from his cover and saw her hunched over. 

“She needs you Garrus. As much as this pains me to say this, I must remember that I am no longer here to help guide her. She needs a loving friend right now.” Nihlus said. “This area is secured, Tali is making sure of that. I will scout ahead. I do not wish to see this”.

Garrus watched his old friend dejectedly vanish through the door. If Garrus was admitting the truth to himself, he wouldn’t need Nihlus’s permission to keep Jane safe. He understood immediately when he met her, then looked through her military file that she was special. No wonder Nihlus wanted her to be his mate. 

It was at this moment that time stopped for Garrus. He no longer saw Commander Shepard, N7 Powerhouse Vanguard. He saw the human, Jane Shepard. The heart broken, grieving, woman. His heart ached at the sight of her curled over, and swiftly made his way to her in three strides, mumbling ‘Spirits help me’ under his breath.

“Jane?” Garrus softly said, kneeling in front of her so he can see her face. His visor tipped him off to the erratic heartbeat, her BP was raised, and her body temperature was much too hot for a human. 

Jane’s eyes were moving erratically and desperately trying to focus on anything. She heard someone say her name, but it was muffled in her ears. She sank to her feet and covered her ears as she heard a shriek in her head. 

Reading the readouts from his visor, he threw all cares to the wind and scooped her up in his arms, as he seated himself on the ground. Jane curled up into his armor, and instinctually Garrus let out a soft loving rumble. He slowly rocked back and forth and watched his visor as her BP and heart beat evened out. He gave a relieved sigh, but they weren’t out of the water yet.

Behind them a dead Asari Commando rose.

“You have got to be shitting me” Garrus said, as Jane started to stand up.

“This one serves as our voice. We cannot sing. Not in these low spaces. Your musics are colorless.” The asari said. Jane’s BP was rising again and Garrus cursed inwardly as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “We are the mother. We sing for those left behind. The children you thought you silenced.”

“Was that you that shrieked into my head?” Jane said, wearily. 

“We apologize. We were searching for a vessel to communicate our songs” The Rachni Queen said. Jane mumbled, ‘quite the song’ as she looked Garrus in the eye. 

“Our kind sing through the touchings of thought. We pluck the strings, and the other understands. Your song has colors we have never seen before. It is melancholy, and hopeful, full of power.” The Rachni Queen continued. 

Tali came to join her squad mates, her eyes wide at the scene. She noticed the intimate touch of Garrus’s hand on Shepard’s shoulder.

“The children we birthed were stolen from us before they could learn to sing. They are lost to silence. End their suffering. They cannot be saved. They will only cause harm as they are.” The Queen said through the asari. Remarkably the asari demonstrated the sadness the queen felt by her statement. Jane felt it in her soul. 

“I don’t understand. Why are your children killing people?” Shepard said, taking a step toward the glass that entrapped the Rachni Queen. She looked at the mother, the Queen in her eye. Talie and Garrus took notice that Shepard spoke directly to the bug, and not the Asari. 

The Rachni Queen shifted in the glass prison and focused her eyes on Shepard. Instantly she understood the power of this warrior, and resolved to tell her her story. “These needle-men. They stole our eggs from us. They sought to turn our children into beasts of war. Claws with no songs of their own. Our elders are comfortable with silence. Children know only fear if no one sings to them. Fear has shattered their minds, as it has threatened mine.” 

“Makes sense. A baby left alone in a closet until he’s sixteen won’t be sane” Garrus commented. Knowing Jane knew of Saren’s history he made the connection obvious. 

Shepard turned to Tali and Garrus. “I’m going to release her, stand back”. 

***

For the next half hour Shepard, Garrus and Tali ran through winding paths through the hot labs of Noveria to the one door that was not locked to them anymore. No one dared to say a thing. Shepard was still working through in her head what she did, and if she was right. Was releasing the queen the right thing to do? Should I tell Liara about her mother like ripping a band aid off?

Shaking her from her reverie Tali spoke up, “Shepard, didn’t that Queen ask us to kill her children? Isn’t this against some human moral code?”

Shepard jumped, and Garrus put his hand out to touch her lower back under her sniper rifle to steady her. Tali noticed the second intimate touch, and resolved to ask Garrus about it later. The touch was like electricity between them, they both felt it. For Shepard it added just one more thing to her already weighed thoughts.

“You heard the conversation Tali. She said they didn’t have song.” Shepard commented, and added under her breath, ‘whatever that means’. Garrus snorted and Tali’s head cocked to the side in confusion. Garrus looked at Shepard’s face and saw her go off into her thoughts so he felt the need to step forward.

“Tali, it’s almost like how you Quarians do your pilgrimage”. Garrus explained.

“Garrus, with all do respect, I do not think you understand how our people…” Tali was saying before Garrus cut her off.

“You didn’t let me finish. Your people go on a pilgrimage to show their worth to the fleet, but your families and friends help you prepare for that. You need to think about this like you were an orphan, and shut off from the rest of the fleet, then shoved out the door to ‘prove yourself’” Garrus finished.

“I see. So if I an orphan, and when I received my suit, I cut myself off from everyone and when I was to leave, the whole crew didn’t see me off?” Tali questioned her understanding.

“Essentially” Shepard said, which made Garrus and Tali nervous. “In regards to the human moral code you spoke of…” She trailed off. “Genocide is always wrong. However, humans believe and don't believe in many things". Tali looked at Shepard, and Garrus cocked his head to the side. "The thing is, humans have many different belief systems. Many of us only choose, or are born into one. Things like killing, lying, cheating, stealing, adultery, homosexuality, drugs, terrorism, science, slavery, and a bunch of other things can be considered immoral based on the type of life or religion the human chooses to identify with. However, to different people it means different things for various reasons.” She stopped. 

Garrus felt the chill of Nihlus coming into the room. Nihlus stood in front of Jane and placed a hand on her cheek. Shepard leaned into it, knowing she couldn’t see, hear, or even feel the chill of death in the room. 

“You can do this. I know you can” Nihlus said to her, and kissed her forehead before disappearing. Garrus’s heart sank at the private tender moment he just witnessed. Shepard closed her eyes, and with a newfound confidence continued, “They are consider sins Tali, in human culture there are many kinds of sins. They form contradictions, you name it; they are never permissible. While I do not disagree that killing things is immoral, I do not think this excludes the possibility of genocide having any real positive consequences. Clearly the target victims of the rachni children are suffering. We saw that in the labs. Although, this is not to say that I cannot conceive of a group of people engulfed in a dangerous, threatening, and completely irrational mindset that, after exhausting all other options, might deserve or permit genocide.” Shepard finished very eloquently. 

Tali soaked it all in, and she and Garrus found yet another reason why this human woman was the most remarkable of her kind. Little did they know, what would be waiting for them in the hot lab.

The door opened to a rather bare room. The trio looked around for threats, guns drawn. Shepard even had a blue glow of biotic energy ready. 

“Wait” said a deep burly voice.

Shepard scanned the room and her eyes settled on the man, barely alive on a chair. She squinted her eyes and hesitantly stepped forward. “Yar? Is that you?” She asked.

The man brightened. “You remember me?”

“Of course, you were part of the covert team sent into Binary Helix. Your file has you listed MIA.” She stated. 

“Not MIA” he retorted with humor.

“So I see”. Garrus and Tali exchanged looks and positioned themselves to cover the room. “Garrus, Tali, this is an old friend Yaroslev Tartakovsky. He is the Alliances Top researcher in all things biometric and genetic.” Shepard said.

“You’re, too kind. However, the time is of essence right now” Yar pointed out. “I am certain you are having strong feelings”. He slurred.

Garrus noticed Shepard and Yar flinch at the same time, and went into defensive mode. 

“We feel it too. You are not alone. More listen in. Not understanding, fearful.” The Rachni Queen sang to them from closer to the surface. Tali noticed the obvious pain from the two humans and became alerted too, until suddenly it stopped. 

“What has happened here. It is our fault. You understand?” Yar lied. Shepard picked up on it immediately, while Garrus and Tali exchanged more confused glances. “Binary Helix found an egg. It was on a derelict ship, thousands of years drifting. This was Rachni ship. Inside they find many eggs in cryogenic suspension.”

“They should have destroyed it. Why hatch it?” Shepard said forcefully. Tali looked at Garrus questionly.

“It’s a facade. It seems we are compromised” he whispered to Tali. She nodded her understanding and vowed to figure out just how Garrus knew that, later, when they were back safely on the Normandy.

“Binary Helix plan to clone Rachni. Mass produce them.” Yar said weakly.

“Just like the Queen said” Garrus’s hushed voice declared to Tali.

“He speaks the truth. We were in that egg they procured. This is our creation story. Was forced to lay eggs. Fear surrounded me. We found strength in past songs. Children cannot hear past song from Elders. Needle-men needed me for obedient children.” The Rachni Queen sang into the heads of Yar and Jane.

Yar was visibly shaking, feeling the dread the Rachni Queen distended to them. They both knew time was running out. “...Separating them didn’t work.” Yar’s voice was becoming more weary, and he coughs. “These rachni are beyond saving. It is a sad thing, but they must be euthanized. I am thinking that the Neutron Purge must be set off”.

Shepard looked at him, “I am not familiar with the Purge System, but I am familiar with ‘The Mark of Gideon’ Purge.” 

“One of the same” Yar chuckled.

“Same code?” She asked, and dread flooded Yar’s face.

“THEY COME!” the Rachni Queen shouted.

“875-020..” Yar was saying quickly and a Brood Warrior came up from the floor panels and impaled him with its forelegs. 

Garrus and Tali immediately opened fired, and Shepard’s biotics flared to throw the Brood Warrior. Then without warning, hundreds of small rachni was coming up from the floor panels. Garrus and Tali scattered cover fire across the room as Jane biotically slammed a brood warrior towards the next room. 

As Shepard entered the room she entered the Gideon Code. The door hissed shut separating Garrus and Tali from Shepard. 

“Bosh’Tet” Tali swore, and Garrus seethed in anger.

Shepard was trapped in a room with no way out. She surveyed the room and privately panicked. Then she saw him.

All time stopped, and there was a chill in the air. Jane was looking straight at Nihlus.

“You...your….” Jane choked tears flooding from her eyes.  
“Shhhhh” Nihlus purred, wiping her tears away. In the other room Garrus felt a slight chill, and his anger and anguish flowed through him as he motioned Tali to the elevator. Garrus knew Jane was safe, he was with her, he would protect her. Right now, he needed to get Tali and himself to safety. 

Tali’s back hit Garrus’s back and he lifted an arm to let her by. She tossed her drone, “Go Chikktika, clear a path to the elevator” she said as if it was sentient. Tali made it to the elevator and urged Garrus to back up. Then as they were safely in the elevator on the way up they heard an explosion.

“SHEPARD!” Tali screamed in horror.


	11. 11

*This chapter was inspired by the ideas from FFNet user swemanD47. The idea was, “i would love to more of a love triangle between Shepard, Garrus, and Kaidan, like totally in love Kaidan and protective Garrus, not exactly working working well together near shep, and it all comes down to the great "man to man" talk/fight”.

~*~  
From the med-bay on Noveria, a rather anxious Dr. Cohen was about to place a very important phone call. He turned over the two samples in his hand. One purple-red strand, the other dead skin cells. With trepidation, he place his call.

“Are you sure this is the correct material?” A man asked.

“With all due respect sir, you placed me on this forsaken planet because of my expertise in microbiology and genetics.” Dr. Cohen explained. 

“How long will it take to synthesize it? And can we speed up the initial growth?” The man asked.

“I could use Kyolic and Pycnogenol. Small doses at first, I am not sure how it will affect the other half of the endocrine system though.” Cohen said. 

The doctor placed the samples in his pocket and looked through one of the datapads he had on the subject. He found a very crude article dating back to Earth’s use of the Gregorian calendar of 2002. He scanned it for the chemicals he was looking for and hummed happily to himself. 

“This could work sir. When all is said and done we should be on schedule in three months”.

“Good. Then humanity will see what I have been saying for years” The man said with a smile.

***

Time stopped, it was as if the world paused just for her. Jane was staring at Nihlus, and Nihlus was wiping her tears away. 

“Jane, my sweet, strong Jane. You don’t have much time, and you are not dying here” Nihlus said in a hushed voice. 

“No, no, no, NO” Jane was shaking her head backing away from him. “I just came to terms with this, you can’t be back now”.

It was uncharacteristic for Jane to show her emotions. Nihlus was slightly taken aback at this display. It seemed like minutes or even hours were passing as he was watching her leak, yet it was only milliseconds. He thought that being a Spirit gave much in the way of time, however he had to snap her out of this trance. Nihlus looked at his sweet Jane, and remembered when she opened up to him about her past. 

***FlashBack***  
“Nihlus, life for me wasn’t easy” Jane said. 

Nihlus took her free arm and spun her around in a ballroom-esque way until she came to rest with her back on his chest. Today they were doing paper work on the Citadel. The fact that Jane had just graduated the N7 program meant she had at least a week before she had to report to her next assignment. He had no idea how he was going to let her go off to Akuze by herself. He felt better with her near.

“Jane, life is never easy” he said solemnly. Nihlus knew all too well what a hard life was.

“No, it isn’t”. Jane said turning around and hugging him.

“Hey” Nihlus whispered, and took a talon to lift her chin up to look at him. He gazed into her beautiful emerald eyes and saw the distress of her past. “Tell me, please”.

Jane sighed, and sat down in the closest chair. “From the time I could remember, I was alone. No parents, no one looking over me. I was independent, and learned to survive on my own.” She looked up for Nihlus’s reaction, and saw that he was watching her every move. She visually swallowed, and continued, “I ran with a gang at a young age. I was picked up after a bad Red Sand bust, and taken to some hospital.” She looked up, and solemnly added, “I can’t even remember which part of Earth I was on”. 

For the first time, Nihlus didn’t see someone he loved, or a soldier. He saw the woman, the parts of a tragic backstory that makes a hero. He dropped to one knee in front of Jane and took both of her hands as she continued her story, her voice indicating her hidden past.

“I was checked out, and taken to Jump Zero. I guess they figured I would die before I reached adulthood or something. They fit me with some experimental implant, an L3-X1. It’s so experimental that only a few of us had it. I was one of three that survived the surgery. Then two months later, I was the only one left with it.” Jane told Nihlus. 

“Is that where you met Kaidan?” Nihlus asked. His distrust of Kaidan had been a subject that he and Jane argued about almost every time they saw him. Nihlus just had a bad feeling about him. 

“No, I mean he was there, but I was in a secluded part of the building. I didn’t meet him until Alliance bootcamp.” Jane said. Nihlus was relaxed to hear that their friendship wasn’t deeper. He thought that maybe he had time to get her away from him, for good.   
***End Flasback***

Nihlus remembered the experimental implant, and the research his Spectre status allowed him to have on it. It dawned on him, she was capable of low level Adept moved. He grabbed her arms forcefully and shook her. Her eyes fell on his. “Trust me Jane. Focus. Envision your biotics protecting you!” Nihlus pleaded.

Through her tears, Jane’s eyes widened at what he was suggesting. “You know I cannot do that, it’s...I’m...not strong enough” Jane whispered, silently preparing herself for the inevitable pain of death.

“JANE NOW!” Nihlus roared and threw his arms around her as if he could shield her from the blast. With all of his ghostly being, Nihlus prayed to the Spirits that this was enough to save her. She is the beacon of hope for the galaxy. She had to go on. 

“Joker, talk to me why hasn’t the ground crew checked in?” Kaidan said hovering behind Joker.

“You know how these things are” he humbly replied. Exasperated, Kaidian through his hands in the air and paced the cockpit for a few moments. He finally settled down in the co-pilot seat. 

“I am not leaving until we hear from her” he demanded, waving his arms in front of the consol.

“Great…” Joker mumbled.

Meanwhile on Noveria, Tali was wearing a hole pacing back and forth. “Come on Garrus!” She said impatiently.

“Almost there” he hissed as he was forcing the elevator open. They stepped in and climbed down, not entirely prepared to see their Commander in ashes. 

Tali shivered and Garrus glanced the charred room. “She’s ok, you are going to have to overload the door to open it, she is unconscious. I helped her overload her biotics to bubble herself” Nihlus said. Without looking back, he disappeared solemnly. Both Turians knew it would blow out her amp, but Nihlus ensured she had the ability.

“Tali, on three we will both overload the door, ready?” Garrus instructed. They counted down together. The fear in Tali’s eyes was heartwrenching. 

“THREE!” They shouted together and Tali gasped at the sight. 

“Keelah. She bubbled herself? But...she isn’t….” Tali just couldn’t fathom the scene. The room itself was destroyed, and echo of the charred room they escaped from. However, miraculously enough, there was but the small crisp remnants of a sphere left of the room where Shepard lay. 

“Spirits” Garrus rumbled, slowly and cautiously running his visor’s diagnostics. “I’ll get her, make sure we have a clear path, send out your Chat-Tat or whatever you call it” Garrus instructed. Tali scoffed and went ahead leaving Garrus and an unconscious Shepard alone.

He carefully picked her up in his arms. Made sure her head was rested on his shoulder and brushed her hair from her face. He looked down at her pale face and kissed her forehead. “You're going to be alright Jane” he whispered. “I got you. I always have your six remember” Garrus reassured her, as his heart sank. ‘Poor Jane’ he thought. 

“Uhh Normandy, we have a situation here. Have Chakwas ready in the cargo bay” Tali chimed in. Joker and Kaidan looked at each other. 

“That doesn’t sound good” Joker announced as Kaidan was already running full speed for the medbay.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What two new chapters?

It was about an hour later that the MAKO was lifted into the cargo bay of the Normandy, and another achingly 10 minutes for the air pressure to return to normal. Chakwas and Ashley were rushing to the MAKO to see what the situation was.

Tali exited, and helped Garrus maneuver the unconscious Commander to the bed waiting. 

“There was a situation at the end of the mission. We were clearing out some left over Rachni, and a bombed started to tick down. The Commander was in the other room, and Tali and I had to get out of there, or there would be…” Garrus was recalling as they made their way to the medbay.

“You mean you LEFT HER!” Kaidan seethed to Garrus and Tali. 

“She was locked in the room, and we had hundreds of little bugs to deal with” Tali said trying to keep her cool. 

“I knew she should have brought one of us. I told her that when I gave her back Nihlus’s pistol.” Ashley said. Tali’s head dropped and Ashley was sure she could hear silent sobs from the Quarian. 

“YOU FUCKING LEFT HER TO DIE!” Kaidan kept shouting moving closer to Garrus.

“There was nothing we could do!” Tali cried. Garrus Ashley instinctively gave the young Quarian a hug and looked over at Kaidan advancing on Garrus.

“LT” she beckoned, but Kaidan didn’t hear her. 

“YOU NEVER LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND YOU BIRD!!!” 

Ashley placed a hand on Kaidan’s shoulder, still focused on Tali. “LT, look, there was nothing they could do. They had to get to safety too, they had no idea what that room looked like. They followed Alliance protocol, they went back and got her.” She tried to comfort him.

“Oh they went back and got her. That’s suppose to make me feel better. That’s suppose to fix this!”

“NO” Garrus roared. His fringe flared, his crest rose on his head, and his hands were in fists. “We went back because that’s what she would have done for anyone of us!”

“OH?!? Here it is everyone” Kaidan threw his hands up and walked away. “The noble Turian only went back because...” 

“COULD YOU FOUR PLEASE TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE...So I can get the Commander up and running again” Chakwas said coming out of the medbay. 

As soon as Dr. Chakwas turned to go back into the medbay Kaidan was pushing past Tali, Ashley and Garrus to go on. 

“Oh no you don’t” Chakwas said. Kaidan ignored her and continued to try to get by Jane’s side.

“I need to be there, I lost her once, I am not losing her again” Kaidan declared trying inch closer to Jane’s side.

“Kaidan stop” Ashley retorted. 

Chakwas was struggling to keep Kaidan out. “A little help please” she bellowed, and Garrus easily pulled Kaidan out of the way. 

“GET YOUR DIRTY FUCKING TALONS OFF ME!”

“KAIDAN!” Tali and Ashley both yelled. Chakwas took the time to lock the medbay door, and place emergency protocols in place.

Once Kaidan got himself free of Garrus he went nose to nose with him. “This is not over” he said pointing his finger to Garrus’s chest. Then he huffed off towards the stairs.

“Well...that could have been worse” Ashley said watching him leave. Garrus and Tali both looked at Ashley shocked.

“When the LT and Skipper were in training, they were really young and just discovering their biotic potential. LT killed his Turian instructor after he bullied some girl.” Ashley reported. Garrus huffed and called the elevator. 

“Yeah, that could have been worse” Tali said softly.

“For what it’s worth” Ashley said placing a hand on Tali’s shoulder. “I know you tried your hardest, and I do not blame you. I mean I did at first”. Garrus glared daggers at Ashley for the admission. “Look, it’s not easy for me. My life has been defined by Shanxi”. Garrus softened his look, “And the Commander has reminded me, loudly, just how close minded I was.” She sighed. “He’ll come around, they all will”.

“You are very brave” Tali said, and the trio were on their way to the cargo bay.

***

Later that night, Jane was in her quarters. Chakwas must have given her something really strong because she couldn’t think, but her sense of feeling was heightened. Completely unaware of herself and the world, Jane had forgotten to put on underwear when she came back from the medbay. She sat up from her laying position and looked for her jacket. She noticed her N7 hoodie on the floor, and decided that would have to do. She didn’t want to go to the mess in her camisole and shorts. 

She stood up a little dizzy and her door chimed. 

“Come in” she announced. 

Kaidan came through her door, and Jane sat down on the bottom of her bed. He had some sort of bottle in his hand. 

“I tried to get the good doctor to tell me if you were ok, but she wouldn’t say anything. Are you ok?” He asked taking a seat next to her. 

Jane rubbed the back of her head. “Yeah, blew out my amp, hurt like hell. Chakwas gave me some nice medicine though” Jane said with a small smile. Kaidan chuckled.

“I figured, if you’re up for it, I’d give you one of my world famous back massages.” He prompted.

“Really? The last time you gave me one was…”

“Bootcamp” they both said together. Jane unzipped her hoodie, and Kaidan rose to his knees behind her. Jane prompted the door to lock. He helped her take the hoodie off, and put some lotion on his hands. After making sure his hands were warm her started on her shoulders.  
Jane’s head lolled forward. Her senses enhanced. His touch was electrifying to her, but she had no idea why. She couldn’t put a coherent thought together when he did this to her. 

“Jane?” Kaidan asked, kneading her shoulders, and working his way to her neck.

“Hmmm?” she answered.

“I don’t know what I would have done if we lost you today” He confided.

“What any soldier does, move on” she said listlessly. 

Kaidan knew he had her. Just as he always did when they were in boot camp. He placed his hand on her lower back, and that was always her cue to take off her shirt. Normally, Jane was in military BDU’s. However, tonight, she was comfortable, on her own ship, and currently lacking in underwear. He watched as Jane took her shirt off, as if it was in slow motion. He gulped, and suddenly his pants felt a little tight. He thought to himself, ‘Dammit Kaidan, it’s not like you haven’t seen a bare back. They don’t call you magic hands for nothing’. 

“I don’t know if I could” he softly said. Kaidan leaned lower working his way up her back.

“Hummmm” was all Jane could say. She was in a state of complete bliss. This was what she needed. Kaidan’s warm hands on her back, his skin igniting her being. She let out a slow breathy moan, just barely audible, and Kaidan had to stop for a second. ‘Is she sending me a signal?’ he thought.

Kaidan’s mouth came close to her ear, in his husky low voice he whispered, “I think you and I would be good together”. 

Jane listened to the lower baritone of her friend, and she body shivered. She re-positioned herself so her back was against Kaidan’s chest. Kaidan’s body reacted before he could. His erection placed firmly on her lower back and he moved his hands back to her shoulders. 

“Jane?” Kaidan asked, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. He was dangerously close to breaking regulations.

Jane felt all of Kaidan, and without a thought, her drug-hazed mind took his hands and placed them on her bare breasts. Kaidan let out an audible relaxed breath. He lightly placed his lips on her neck, to see if this was what she really wanted. After all, he had never known her to be so brash. 

Jane cocked her head to side, and moaned a bit louder. She had been aching for this since before the Eden Prime mission. Only in her mind, she was with someone else. 

Kaidan pumped quicker, on the verge of ecstasy, and Jane matched him pump for pump. She knew they would reach climax together, she loved it when they did. Then the tingling sensation came and Kaidan moaned as loud as she ever heard him, and Jane couldn’t help herself any longer. 

“NIHLUS” she screamed.

His dreams were shattered. His heart racing, as a naked Jane rested on top of him. ‘Did she just? Was that?’ he thought. They both caught their breath, and Kaidan realized the depth of the situation. He unsheathed himself from her, and asked, “Jane, tell me, what is the next mission?” Jane rolled over, half asleep and giggled. Kaidan loved that giggle. 

“Eden Prime silly” she said.

Kaidan’s worst fear had come true. He hadn’t thought his massages would do this. Every other time they ended up having great conversations about life, and dreams. Not once did he think that she would be inhibited by the medicine she was on. 

He looked at Jane, who was very nearly asleep, and got changed quickly. He needed to get out of here. He helped her put her clothes back on and tucked her in to bed. He unlocked her cabin door and was about to leave. He looked back once, at the woman he so wished was his, and opened the door. Only he was face to face with one Garrus Vakarian.


	13. Chapter 12 EXPLICIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I gave you guys a treat. 
> 
> READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER

A/N: I have included the lead in from the chapter before to set the mood, and the end will be overlapped as well. Beyond is Explicit Rated M stuff. If you do not wish to read Femshep/Kaidan, skip it. Trust me, there will be more Shakarian goodness later. I intend to take this through the Trilogy with my own ‘fix-it’ ending.

Later that night, Jane was in her quarters. Chakwas must have given her something really strong because she couldn’t think, but her sense of feeling was heightened. Completely unaware of herself and the world, Jane had forgotten to put on underwear when she came back from the medbay. She sat up from her laying position and looked for her jacket. She noticed her N7 hoodie on the floor, and decided that would have to do. She didn’t want to go to the mess in her camisole and shorts. 

She stood up a little dizzy and her door chimed. 

“Come in” she announced. 

Kaidan came through her door, and Jane sat down on the bottom of her bed. He had some sort of bottle in his hand. 

“I tried to get the good doctor to tell me if you were ok, but she wouldn’t say anything. Are you ok?” He asked taking a seat next to her. 

Jane rubbed the back of her head. “Yeah, blew out my amp, hurt like hell. Chakwas gave me some nice medicine though” Jane said with a small smile. Kaidan chuckled.

“I figured, if you’re up for it, I’d give you one of my world famous back massages.” He prompted.

“Really? The last time you gave me one was…”

“Bootcamp” they both said together. Jane unzipped her hoodie, and Kaidan rose to his knees behind her. Jane prompted the door to lock. He helped her take the hoodie off, and put some lotion on his hands. After making sure his hands were warm her started on her shoulders.  
Jane’s head lolled forward. Her senses enhanced. His touch was electrifying to her, but she had no idea why. She couldn’t put a coherent thought together when he did this to her. 

“Jane?” Kaidan asked, kneading her shoulders, and working his way to her neck.

“Hmmm?” she answered.

“I don’t know what I would have done if we lost you today” He confided.

“What any soldier does, move on” she said listlessly. 

Kaidan knew he had her. Just as he always did when they were in boot camp. He placed his hand on her lower back, and that was always her cue to take off her shirt. Normally, Jane was in military BDU’s. However, tonight, she was comfortable, on her own ship, and currently lacking in underwear. He watched as Jane took her shirt off, as if it was in slow motion. He gulped, and suddenly his pants felt a little tight. He thought to himself, ‘Dammit Kaidan, it’s not like you haven’t seen a bare back. They don’t call you magic hands for nothing’. 

“I don’t know if I could” he softly said. Kaidan leaned lower working his way up her back.

“Hummmm” was all Jane could say. She was in a state of complete bliss. This was what she needed. Kaidan’s warm hands on her back, his skin igniting her being. She let out a slow breathy moan, just barely audible, and Kaidan had to stop for a second. ‘Is she sending me a signal?’ he thought.

Kaidan’s mouth came close to her ear, in his husky low voice he whispered, “I think you and I would be good together”. 

Jane listened to the lower baritone of her friend, and she body shivered. She re-positioned herself so her back was against Kaidan’s chest. Kaidan’s body reacted before he could. His erection placed firmly on her lower back and he moved his hands back to her shoulders. 

“Jane?” Kaidan asked, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. He was dangerously close to breaking regulations.

Jane felt all of Kaidan, and without a thought, her drug-hazed mind took his hands and placed them on her bare breasts. Kaidan let out an audible relaxed breath. He lightly placed his lips on her neck, to see if this was what she really wanted. After all, he had never known her to be so brash. 

Jane cocked her head to side, and moaned a bit louder. She had been aching for this since before the Eden Prime mission. Only in her mind, she was with someone else. 

Kaidan began to caress her breasts. She felt better than he could have imagined, just the right size for him to completely cup her in his hands. He kissed her neck and made a trail of kisses down her jaw. Jane’s mouth opened, which made Kaidan’s erection begin to hurt. 

She moved her head to kiss him, and slowly opened her mouth to him. They explored each other. Kaidan released on breast and rubbed her side. Jane’s hand found his hair, and pulled him into their kiss. He let his hand wander down. His arms weren’t quite long enough to go for what he really wanted, so he rubbed her side tentatively placing his hand into her shorts. 

Jane moaned her approval into his mouth, and Kaidan couldn’t take it any longer, he removed himself from her, got off the bed and removed his shirt. He stood in front of her, and Jane looked at his erection. She couldn’t think, she just stared.

“Are you alright?” He asked concerned.

This shook her from her reverie and she placed her hands on his flat, chiseled stomach. “Mmmmhmmm” she said shyly. Kaidan gave her a thousand watt smile. 

“I’ve dreamt about this so many times” he confessed, placing a hand on her cheek.

“Have you now?” She responded. She saw Kaidan before her, but her heart dreamt Turian. 

“You are beautiful, Jane Alison Shepard”. Kaidan said before kissing her passionately. 

He gently pushed her back, and used one hand to leverage himself, and the other to lightly pinch her nipple. Jane moaned into his mouth again and instinctively wrapped her legs around the hard hip bones she knew Nihlus had. 

Kaidan took the opportunity to move him and her back further on the bed for a more comfortable position. Her legs unraveled, and he undid his pants to try to subdue his aching cock. He trailed kisses from her mouth to her breasts. Suckling lightly on her nipple as his other hand slipped into her shorts. 

Jane moaned as his hands cupped her sex. Kaidan inhaled sharply at the warmth and wetness he felt. He looked up to Jane’s face. “God, your intoxicating” he said. 

“Please” she begged.

Kaidan then trailed his kisses up to her lips again. He gave her sweet, short, playfully kisses. Jane used her hands to slowly work down his pants. 

“Impatient aren’t we?” He asked. 

Jane looked at his face. Kaidan thought she was looking into his soul. Jane, however, saw his copper brown eyes and immediately latched onto the memory she so wanted right now. Kaidan’s fingers softly felt around her wetness, and that made Jane moan. He smiled and stood up. 

“These need to go” He announced as he took off their remaining clothes. His cock bounced freely, and he took a moment to look at the fantastic woman in front of him. Jane took a moment to look him over too. Not as sharp and pointy as she remembered him to be. 

Kaidan rubbed Jane’s body lightly with his hands, placing kisses on any part of her skin he could get. He savored every moment. He knew this day would come, he just didn’t know that Shepard wasn’t completely in her right mind. Kaidan had his morals too, he would never take advantage of anyone. However, the signals we all there, to Kaidan, Shepard wanted him. 

Jane was writhing, she had waited too long for this. Her senses heightened, she wanted this release. Impatiently she grabbed Kaidan and threw him down on the bed, and she now had the upper hand. Smiling she straddled one of his legs and placed her wetness on his knee. She slowly started to grind her clit. She released a breathy moan, and Kaidan’s cock hurt more now than ever. He placed his hands on her back, not daring to say anything, he gave himself to her. She climbed her way up and rested her pelvis slightly atop his, as her hands came to either side of his head. 

“Are you ready cowboy?” she said.

“Oh, Jane” Kaidan said, rubbing his hands up her bare sides. 

She slowly lowered herself onto his aching cock. Kaidan moaned loudly, and Jane mewed in happiness. She settled herself there, getting him as deep as he could go and adjusted her legs. She leaned down and kissed his lips. Kaidan hungerly bit hers. 

She set an excruciatingly slow pace. Every time she rose, her warmth sheathing the aching in his cock. He placed his hands on her ass and squeezed, which rewarded him with a slight yelp. Then she set a grinding pace. Kaidan’s mind was gone, this woman he had been pining after, for what seemed like decades, was finally his.

The pace quicken as their breath started to hitch. Kaidan started to match her with his hips. Jane moaned as he thrusted himself to her hilt, hitting that right spot. She briefly noted, that it took longer for him to reach that spot. Usually, the angle of his cock would hit it immediately and she would have to stop herself from orgasming on the spot. She chalked it up to the fact that it had been a long time, and they just needed to find their rhythm again. 

Kaidan pumped quicker, on the verge of ecstasy, and Jane matched him pump for pump. She knew they would reach climax together, she loved it when they did. Then the tingling sensation came and Kaidan moaned as loud as she ever heard him, and Jane couldn’t help herself any longer. 

“NIHLUS” she screamed.

His dreams were shattered. His heart racing, as a naked Jane rested on top of him. ‘Did she just? Was that?’ he thought. They both caught their breath, and Kaidan realized the depth of the situation. He unsheathed himself from her, and asked, “Jane, tell me, what is the next mission?” Jane rolled over, half asleep and giggled. Kaidan loved that giggle. 

“Eden Prime silly” she said.

Kaidan’s worst fear had come true. He hadn’t thought his massages would do this. Every other time they ended up having great conversations about life, and dreams. Not once did he think that she would be inhibited by the medicine she was on. 

He looked at Jane, who was very nearly asleep, and got changed quickly. He needed to get out of here. He helped her put her clothes back on and tucked her in to bed. He unlocked her cabin door and was about to leave. He looked back once, at the woman he so wished was his, and opened the door. Only he was face to face with one Garrus Vakarian.


	14. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teaching college classes in the summer was tedious. Sorry this is so short, but I wanted to give you something.

Garrus blinked a few times and stared at Kaidian at length. Something was off and he knew it. As Garrus was about to open his mouth to acknowledge Kaidan, it him. There was a strong odor in the air, it was errant, and it panicked Garrus to his core.

“Oh, uhh, Hi Garrus. The Commander called me in a little while ago to talk, and she drifted off to sleep. I figured that was my cue to get back to work.” Kaidan said. He wanted to run as fast as he could away from the Turian that was staring death at him.

“Your senses do not deceive you” Nihlus said to Garrus from inside the room looking over Jane. Garrus looked at Nihlus’s spirit, and back at Kaidan. 

“I’ll, uhh, go check the messages then” Kaidan said as he briskly abandoned the area to the CIC. Garrus watched him carefully. Nihlus had a hand on Jane’s head, and Garrus was taken aback that his spirit could seem so real. 

“She is unharmed, but she is unaware of what happened. To her it is a dream, of someone else” Nihlus said calmly. Garrus stepped into Jane’s cabin, and sat at her terminal. The stench of their mating stale in the air. He rumbled deeply, his mandibles fluttering. 

“He just came in, and he took advantage of her!” Garrus frothed.

“No, he didn’t.” Nihlus placed his talons on her head again, seemingly petting Jane lovingly. “It was consensual, but as I said, she thinks it was a dream” he finished.

“How can you be so calm and rational about this?!?” 

Nihlus shushed Garrus and sat on the corner of Jane’s bed still petting her head. “Amazing, if I could have been able to do this when I was alive, I wouldn’t be dead, I think.” 

“Pardon?” Garrus questioned.

“I was never very devout when I was younger. My father was the spiritual one, my mother rash. Being forced onto a path I did not want to follow left me vengeful, and angry. Not a great mix” Nihlus explained.

Garrus huffed. He knew exactly what Nihlus meant. If it were up to him, he would be in spectre training himself, but the hard hand of his father weighed more on his life decision than he would have liked. Nihlus still looked fondly at Jane and continued his story.

“I remember my father said once that the good spirits of our world had the ability to protect, and read the deepest parts of our souls. I never believed it.” Nihlus rested his hand on Jane’s head and sighed “She cares for you, you know.” 

***

“How is progress coming along?” the man asked.

“Well, the embryo has been created, and it looks as if the DNA is attacking itself” Cohen answered.

“What do you mean the DNA is attacking itself. Cohen, this cannot go wrong. I need this experiment to prove my resolve” the man demanded.

“I know sir, I will figure this out” Cohen said exasperated.

“I should have picked up Lawson for this” the man muttered before leaving.

***

After getting out of the terrible, damning situation on the crew deck. Kaidan stopped at the CIC and looked around. He was uncomfortable, and felt as if he just violated the most precious thing in the world. 

“Ahh, Kaidan” Pressly said. “We have a message from Hackett, would you be able to call him back? He wants an update on the Commander”.

“Right, I’ll, uhh, get right on that” he replied and walked to the com room.

Once the door closed behind him, Kaidan took a moment to sit and reflect. ‘I know I didn’t mean for that to happen. It never happened before, so why would it now?’ he thought. He leaned forward with his head in his hands, and the holo of Hackett showed up. 

“Alenko, good. How is the Commander?” Hackett boomed.

Kaidan stood ramrod straight and at attention. “She is on the mend sir. Blew out her amp”.

“At ease Lieutenant” 

Kaidan relaxed, and brushed his hand through his hair. “What are our orders sir?”

“Seeing as Shepard just got a new amp, we do not want her to put herself in danger again. Joker should already be enroute to Pinnacle Station over in Argos Rho. That should give her time to assess the squad, so that we can go forward.” Hackett advised.

“Sounds good sir. Is there anything else?”

“That is all Lieutenant”. Hackett said as he saluted, Kaidan did the same, and the holo disappeared. Kaidian sighed once again, and decided to settle in for the night.


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't abandoned the story. My professional life comes first.

The time flew by as Jane recouped in her cabin. She was keenly aware of her crew working and keeping everything in order while she was out of commission. She also noticed the distance. At Noveria, Jane had thought that she had made some headway with Garrus. She noted how well their fighting styles meshed, he would be on the target she was about to order him to before she could even get the words out of her mouth. It made her smile. 

Jane stood by the map in the CIC, Pressly keenly eyeing her as she was lost in her own thoughts.   
“Got something to say?” She addressed Pressly.

“If I may, ma’am?” Jane sighed. “Are you sure you are ready for Pinnacle Station? I have heard that is grueling and even the best operatives were getting tripped up with it.”

She smiled softly at Pressly’s concerns for not only her health, but her reputation. “Well, we have a few new crewman” Pressly grimaced, “and what a better way to test out ground crews then a simulation.” 

“You’re the commander” he listlessly replied. Jane chuckled at him.

“Commander, ETA for Pinnacle is 5 minutes” Joker announced.

“Great, tell Wrex, Liara, Garrus, Tali, and Kaidan to meet me at the airlock in 10” she replied. It was time to play.

***

The Normandy arrived at Pinnacle Station without incident. Commander Shepard was tinkering with her new amp as her ground crew started to appear, they knew this was going to fun. She stepped out of the airlock and looked around. 

Shepard walked into the station amongst whispers. She overheard, “Is that Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre?” and chuckled. Damn straight she was the first human spectre. She locked eyes with one Turian that had captain insignia’s, and walked up to him confidently. His name tag read, Vidinos, and Garrus knew his shoddy temper.

“Commander?” Garrus tried to get Jane’s attention, but she ignored him. 

“Go pester Ahern, human. I’m on duty.” he said. Shepard shrugged it off and passed through the doors to find this Ahern. 

“Ah, Commander Shepard. Welcome to Pinnacle Station. I’m Admiral Tadius Ahern. Admiral Hackett is a close family friend of mine. Told me you needed to, prepare, but didn’t say for what. You’ll be training the combat simulator. After each round, you’ll see how you fared against your competitors.” Ahern announced.

“Competitors?” Kaidian asked.

“Basically, it creates combat scenarios that allow our operatives to build their skills in a safe, but realistic, environment. Only the best of the best travel here to train. When you’re ready, go talk to Ochren in the staging area. He will set you up.” 

Jane nodded her thanks and walked down the stairs and to her right. It must have looked odd to those watching her because of all the various aliens following their Human Commander. 

“Let’s just see who we are up against” Wrex said checking the score console. The read out had a time trial up and Shepard only recognized two names on the list. 

“Hey look Vindinos is second” Garrus commented. “For a Turian with the record he has, he should be first.”

“Hey, we aren’t here to beat scores, we are here for..” Shepard stumbled on her words, and her head suddenly had a sharp pain. It was almost like there was a gap in her memory. “...team building. I need to know how we all work together, and who works well with whom. When we get into the Sim, I don’t want anyone to hold back. This isn’t a life or death situation.”

Shepard looked around at her ground team. Ashley had heavy armor and some great firepower, Kaidan was botic and had a decent grasp on electronics. Garrus has medium armor and a mean sniper skill, whereas Tali was an electronics queen. Wrex also had heavy armor and biotics, and Liara was all biotics.

Three biotics of varying levels, one soldier, a mechanical genius, a mercenary, and agent. She had a limited amount of choices she could make. A biotic heavy team would leave no electronics expertise, but a tech heavy team would leave her the only biotic. The combinations in her head made it hurt. She looked around, cracked her knuckles and took a deep breath.

“OK, this is how we are going to do this. I am going to go in every other fight. I want to try these teams...” she announced and typed them up on her omnitool and sent them the file. 

Wrex, Ash  
Tali, Liara  
Garrus, Ash  
Wrex, Liara  
Kaidan, Tali  
Garrus, Liara  
Tali, Ash  
Garrus, Tali  
Wrex, Garrus

“...whichever three can go in between those groups. Either way, I will still be watching.” Wrex scoffed and Shepard walked up to Ochern and set up the first simulator. This was going to be interesting.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts, Comments, Criticism. I am open to it all. Please comment below. If you find mistakes or want to point something out, please do that privately.
> 
> Thank You to my beta, KabiViolet for her help with my earlier chapters.
> 
> Special Thanks to Myetel for her universe "Spirit of Redemption" in which I am borrowing everything I know about Turian culture.


End file.
